I spent all of the past many days in bed with a cast on my left foot, fitting in Fashion Week highlights and New York Time’s Modern Love podcasts between my endless study sessions. Sometimes, I think I am more Carrie Bradshaw than I realize because, truly, to me only three things matter in the end: how you made the world a better place, how you loved and how many Manolo Blahniks you could buy.
Something I thought about a lot over the last week was what does it even mean to love someone in the modern times? It just seems to me like this world is too fast for love, people don’t slow down for love anymore. Does a ‘I Don’t Have Time For This’ hold more currency than a ‘I Love You’? Love, today, is both same and different. Nothing matters more to the human world than love and yet it is being in love which is looked down upon.
For many today, it is an either-or situation. You can either be in love with someone or you love yourself. You are either driven and serious about your career or you are an emotional mess who is in love. Putting yourself first is so over sold these days that people use it as an excuse to be just plain selfish. People stop looking at you as a strong, independent person the moment you show even a hint of weakness over someone you love, like its a really bad thing.
Being distraught over a rough patch in love or caring for someone above your own self has no place in today’s world. ‘Don’t you have a life? Don’t you have other things to do? You don’t need anyone else’, this is all we hear. I don’t romanticize drama at all and I believe with all my heart that to grow in love is to find peace but there is something so respectful about people who choose to try to love truly, who stick it out for love, even when it gets hard.
Here’s the thing, to win a job, you have to be the most perfect version of yourself and you know, eventually, you will be perfect enough to land that job. But that’s not how love works. When our hearts are on the line, why is vulnerability so shameful? Needing love from someone is not inglorious, its human. Love is our biggest revelation, not something that demands you to be polished to perfection. So, let yourself be known completely in love and that will be the most courageous thing you ever do.